A Reason, A Season or A Lifetime

I am sure that all of us have look around one day and thought, "I wonder whatever happened to...?" because people come and go in our lives all the time.


When I was first widowed in 2000, I found an online support group that was a tremendous help to me in a time of emotional distress. A group of us actually met face to face and some us us formed a bond through our grief. But the farther along we progressed in our journey, the less we had in common. Our lives went in different directions and I was the first to remarry. We found that we no longer had a reason to spend time together and we all went our separate ways. We were all there for each other in our time of need, but no longer had a compelling reason to continue those relationships.

Then, there are work friends. You have lunch together, go out for drinks on occasion or maybe play golf or softball with them. And when you leave that job, you really believe that you will keep in touch, but honestly the thing that bound you together no longer exists and you drift away from those relationships. Those are people who are in your life for a season.

And last but not least, there is THE FAMILY. I emphasise this because it is the most complex and puzzling relationship of all.


First we have our parents, who hopefully gave us a solid foundation and the tools to become productive human beings. Their impact is with us for a lifetime.


Marriage is supposed to be for a lifetime and even if that is not the case, the impact lasts forever. I was happily married to my late husband for 12 years, and that helped shape me into the person I am today. It is also that experience that has enabled me to have a happy and sucessful relationship with my current husband. Now, he was married twice before he met me. He has one child from his first marriage. When he remarried, his daughter gained a new set of aunts, uncles, cousins and a set of step-grandparents. They were her family for five years and when that marriage ended, their relationship with this young woman ended as well. An entire family walked away as if she never existed.

What about the siblings who have a falling out and then begin dragging up every thing you ever did to them going back to puberty. Are they looking for an excuse to distance themselves from you? Who knows.

I remember when my late husband needed a bone marrow transplant, and I asked his siblings to be tested to see if they would be a match. Rather than the answer that I expected to hear, which would be "Of course, I will do it right away," his sister said that she would have to think about it because her brother used to hold her under water in the backyard swimming pool when they were kids. Are you kidding me?

Relationships of all kinds serve a purpose in our lives, even when they are complicated and not very fulfilling. With every experience, we learn and we grow, even if we don't understand.

It is said that people are in our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. To read about exactly what that means, please go to our newsletter. It may help to put things into perspective.